To move on or to not to?

Basically it's up to you whether to move on or to not to. It's your choice. A very good friend of mine once told me that sometimes you don't have to move on, just freaking live you life. He was speaking from his own experience who had been keeping his feelings  for over 2 years. Wow. So yeah, I took his advice and now, I live my life happily.
So what has been keeping you from not moving on? Was that person your first true love? Was that person the only one who made you feel different? Was the person different from the rest? Was the person the one that you had never loved like you loved that person? Was the person that you thought the one for you? Was the person your first in your everything? Trust me we all say that because we all are in denial. We could not believe that one person had truly left us in unbearable pain. I know how it feels. Trust me, I know. We all use the same old reasons over and over to not to move on. Yes, I'm using the reasons as well. I kept telling everyone he was the one that made me felt different, he was the one who truly saw me, blabliblublabliblu. Yeah yeah yeah I get it. Yeah that's why you can't move on because you think too much and being so emotional with this kind of stuffs. I gotta agree on that, yes, I am very emotional and sometimes I can't control my emotions. It ain't good, it ain't good. But we all know that we gotta move on with our life. Great things ahead!
NVM people, we just gotta live our life and insyaALLAH (If God wills), we will get someone a lot better than our ex. Great things come to those who wait and work for it. :)

SKYPE

I don't know whether I can continue this or not. It's just sometimes I miss you so much. I saw you standing in front of me but I can't do anything about it. We were talking, you were trying to make a conversation and I tried too but it just didn't work out well. Why? Where did all go wrong? Hurm.
Skype? Oh skype? I've never skyped with any boy since you left. If I did, just once, and he's my bff. When I looked through our conversation for this one past year, I cried. I remembered once on Thursday, Feb 3rd, you told me that, " Faren, I'm gonna sayang you more when I see you, balik la.". I was at Ipoh and you were at Cyberjaya. So we skyped all the time. You kept asking me to go back A.S.A.P. cause you missed me so much. :)
You always told me that you're gonna prove me that you're not gay and hehe you never failed to show your manly side to me. :) We used to play bingo and tic tac toe on skype and you lost like almost every games we played. haha. We played a lot of games on skype. IDK why were we so childish. haha. It was fun, seriously, it was fun and I miss it. I remember that you would just call me HANDSOME instead of BEAUTIFUL. haha  We were a weird couple indeed. haha. And we were like WOI, FUCK LA, EH STUPID, haha. So ganas la we both before this. Haha
 And we used to snapshot our pictures without each other's knowledge. I selalu curi-curi ambil gambar you and you pun! haha. And I would just stare at you without saying anything and then I smiled. I was so madly in love with you. I would just stare at you the whole day without doing anything else. But now IDK what I feel now. Is this obsession or love? I'm confused.
Our last skype session was on 22nd Sept. I was getting ready to go to Damansara and you were at home doing nothing. We were chatting on fb. I still remember how heartless you were on that day. I would never forget whatever you said to me on that day. And after all those mean things you said, you asked me to skype with you. What was that for? You told me that you didn't intentionally to hurt me with your words and you just wanted to show me your face expression when you said those hurtful words. I know that you didn't mean that. Somehow I saw something in your eyes. I wanted to look and stare at your face but I couldn't. The fact that you were already dated someone that time have made me to not to look at you. How could I stare at someone's boyfriend? I should have never said yes when you asked me to skype with you. I really wanted to say all those sweet words at you but yes, but I couldn't! I wouldn't want to hurt your girlfriend's feelings. She seemed nice. I could see that she helped you a lot with this break up thingy. It's good that you had someone to lean onto. That was the last time we skyped. We didn't ended our conversation well. It's okay. :)
I miss you. I still have those picture. Do you still have em'?

Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS Tan Guan Kiat! :) Exactly a year ago, we sort of celebrated our mini Christmas celebration through webcam video calls. We sang Christmas songs and I gave  you Melon and you gave me Moo Moo. Heee. I hope Melon is doing fine with you. Sorry, I don't have the balls to actually wish you Merry Christmas. So if you're reading this, Merry Christmas! Have a great one with your loved ones! :) I wish you have the life that you always wanted. :)

A year of knowing you.

One year had passed and it has been great. I miss you. I never thought that I would celebrate today without you.

I miss.

IDK why am I writing about this but yeah, I still do miss you. Mom told me once that, it's okay to lose you. She told me that it is your loss, not mine. When she told me that I felt like 'OH NO IT'S MY LOSS LA AMA. HE WAS SO PERFECT. I WAS THE ONE WHO MADE HIM TO LEAVE'. She told me that it is your loss cause you did not give yourself a chance to see the real me, the new me, the current me. Mom and I have never talked about relationship and stuffs but IDK what truly happened that day, we just kept on talking about relationship. I told her about the break up thing after 3 months of the break up. I was not and never prepared to tell my parents about it. Yes, they saw me happy when I was with him, and of course I wouldn't want them to see me how bad I looked after he left. I used to get really excited when I talk about him to my family. Yes, everyone in my family knew that I dated him and yes, they were not that happy about it. Dad has been always want me to concentrate on my studies which I would never ever willing to do. Dad always think that if I ever got into any relationship, I might lose interest in my studies, which I never did. I never lose my interest in studies when I was with him, instead he was one of the reason for me to keep on studying those stupid subjects I never liked. Mom was not that much in shocked cause she knows that I have always like Chinese guys. Grandma was like ergh, 'Ain, you better find someone real, something that could last long. This is impossible. He is Chinese.'. Uncle Farouk was like, 'Haih ain.' Uncle Farouk met Kiat once and he told Kiat to take care of me before he left for Seattle, US. Ergh ergh ergh. That time we were not even together. Guess Uncle Farouk knew what was going on between me and Kiat. Cousins and the rest, they didn't care much. Sad stories of mine. LOL. But yeah, let's go back to the main thing, I MISS YOU. That's all. Good Night. 6 more days to a year of knowing you.
:)

To ayah.

Ayah, why do you always bring up that issues? Yes, I know it was completely my fault for getting too emotional with stuffs till I lost interest in my studies. Ayah don't be mean la. It wasn't my intention to get bad results. But I passed anyway ayah, and I reached the JPA requirements. Still not enough is it? I don't like accounting. Why do you always make me to do things I dislike? I know I'm your daughter and I should obey you but ergh ayah..... Don't judge me on what had happened last semester. I know you're being mean because you want the best from me. I know ayah, I will prove to you. I'm gonna do better this semester. I would not let my emotional take over control me anymore. I'll be smart and I'll act smart. Ayah, I <3 you.

That Should Be Me

Everybody's laughing in my mind,
Rumors spreading 'bout this other girl,
Do you do what you did when you
did with me?
Does she love you the way I can?
Did you forget all the plans
that you made with me?
'cause baby I didn't!


That should be me,
Holdin' your hand,
That should be me
Makin' you laugh,
That should be me,
This is so sad,
That should be me,
That should be me,
That should be me,
Feelin' your kiss,
That should be me,
Getting your gifts,
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that,
That should be me


That should be me,
Yeah,
You said you needed a little time
For my mistakes,
It's funny how you used that time
To have me replaced,
Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies
Whatcha doin' to me,
You're takin' her where we used to go and where we planned to go,
Now if you're tryin' to break my heart,
It's working 'cause you know that,...

That should be me,
Holdin' your hand,
That should be me,
Makin' you laugh,
That should be me,
This is so sad,
That should be me,
That should be me,
That should be me,
Feelin' your kiss,
That should be me ,

Getting your gifts,
This is so wrong,
I can't go on,
Till you believe that,
That should be me

I need to know should I fight
For our love for this long
It's getting harder to shield
This pain in my heart!!!






Nice. You just broke my heart again when I found out that you went to the places that we planned to go together, with her. Thanks again. Appreciate it much.

You were the Apple of My Eye

You used to be the reason I smiled, the reason I cried. But now, I don't know anymore. Sometimes I smile, sometime I cry. But you don't know about that. It's okay. Yes, you were the apple of my eye. When I was watching You Are The Apple Of My Eye movie, I thought about you. It's true. You would never stop trying to get things that you like and to make it yours. Just what happen to us. We were so much fun and happier when we were seeing each other. Hell came after we start dated officially. Why? Because I stopped trying. I stopped to make you happy instead I brought hell to you. I was the pain in your ass, I remember when  you said that. I cried really bad when you told me that. I hoped that I wasn't the one who gave you all the pains and difficulties throughout our relationship. When you told me you were not happy, I was really scared that you would leave, yes, you left after that. There were so many things you said and  you promised, but all oh them meant nothing now. IDK what has been holding me onto you. Memories? What we had? Hurm IDK. The memories are fading now. GOOD. MidValley brought me to think back again when we had our first date. I watched YTAOME at MidValley mall. It was so much fun when we were just friends .My fault, yes, my fault. Why on earth did I stop trying? I stopped looking good for you, I stopped exercising, I stopped making good impressions to your friends, I stopped listening to you, I stopped saving our relationship. It's okay. I've learned my lessons. In my future relationship, I will try my best not to do that. You were and still are a part of my learning process. You were never a mistake to me. But I heard that you told around that I was a mistake to you. So was  I? Erm I don't wanna know the answer cause the truth hurts so much. Here I am, wishing you all the best with your new girlfriend. I am so happy for you. Seeing you're happy makes me happy at the same time. What I learned from YTAOMYE movie, if you truly like or love someone, you would wish all the best to him/her if he/she is happy with the right person. *smile

Do watch the movie, you'll get touched and you're gonna cry EXACTLY LIKE I DID. *smile

BBQ Madness

A year of friendship. We were classmates, coursemates, studymates but now, not anymore. Such a sad thing. But that doesn't mean it is the end of friendship. So yeah, we went to Bagan Lalang Beach just to have our BBQ session. All thanks to or dearie Ajim for organising this. Thanks loads ah boy! And we celebrated Izhan's belated birthday as well! The night weather was really good. It was cold and just nice. Me likey there. And not to forget to mention that we went there with 5 cars. So cool! =)

Nabil, Mia, Jambu and Me. =)

Mia!

May!

GILA

Akmal

Azizy.

Ajim.

Nabil.

Fahmi and Jambu. =)

Azrie.

Zamrey.

Our BBQ! =)

Jul.

Siam mali! Chnnakporn!

Jambu

Happy belated ah boy! Izhan.

Faidz

My cute Sami. =D

THE Lovebirds. =)

I can cook yaw! SO NOT!

Jambu with his medley.

YUMMY!

The Girls - Mia and Choi May a.k.a Melayu Celup. LOL

The Guys - Jambu, Nabil, Zul, Faidz, Azrie, Fahmy, Akmal, Chnnak, Sami,Zamrey, Azizy, Ajim and Izhan!

US.

GILA

17th of November, 2011.

Regards,
Faren.

My Triple 11

 On 11.11.11, I spent the whole day with these 3 people. OMG! It was so random. We went to so many places. We went to Jaya One for Zara's warehouse and after that we went to SS2 for lunch. We had lunch at Jojo Little Kitchen. For Muslims, I don't really recommend you guys to eat there cause it's not halal. I had a bowl of Noodles with Soup and fish balls (I forgot what was the name) and it was really good, like really good. I like the noodles! It was good! Hehe. And then we went to SS2 Mall for another round of shopping. LOL. After SS2 Mall, we went to Sunway Pyramid for another round of shopping. It was so random. Lik Wei was fine with everything. Lik Wei, YOU SO COOL LA! Hehehe. We had dinner at Gold Chilli, SS15 and then we had double deserts at Black Ball and Snowflakes. It was really crazy though! Double deserts! Can you imagine that? After we had our Black Ball, we went for Snowflakes! Grr. Crazy! Then, we went to The Geographer! My favourite place! I had my fried lotus with salted egg. It was really good. My favourite!!! I would like to thank to these 3 not-lifeless people for spending their triple 11 with me. Seriously, THANKS. I heart you guys. =) <3

Tingky, me and Mandy

ZARA's Warehouse.

Our butler of the day! Thanks Lik Wei! =)

OUR PROVES OF THE DAY! LOL

30th of October, 2011

SHER WYN's 19th BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! 

Good Morning Xiao Koo!

Before we went out to The Curve.

Me looking silly with Jeanie.

Grabbed our lunch @ IKEA.

On Sher's big day. Looking pretty love =)

We tried on exactly the same dress!

Shopping @ The Curve.

Sher and Alwin

Movie @ Cineleisure. Paranormal Activity 3.

Dinner @ Tony Romas

My two lovely girls. I miss you both. ='(

Sher's favourite spot : TOILET

Mid Valley

Silly looking faces with makeup. LOL

Jeanie the witch! LOL

Ade kaki sibuk la kat belakang tuh. LOL

With our cute Xiao Koo Koo =p

Cute faces of us!

GILA. hehe

Me love you both okay!

Sisterhood love. =)

Dear Sher Wyn, I've only known you for 3 months only but we got really close like really close. Me love you very much okay? Thanks for giving me KATA-KATA SEMANGAT. Do you know that I would never be strong as this if it was not because of you? Thanks again Sher. You are one strong girl okay! And I think you know that better. I hope you had an awesome birthday celebration though many thing happened on your big day. But screw em', I had fun. I spent my weekend with you guys. It was really fun. I got to know Alwin and Xiao Koo if it was not because of Jeanie. Thanks for inviting me staying over at your place ar Alwin. Thanks a lot. You guys made my days like seriously. I miss you guys. =(